Why do we voluntarily subject ourselves to massive amounts of physical pain? Whether it's long term or short term, I don't think it matters. The point is that we do it. My reason for this weekends self-torture is to have no regrets. One of my dad's favorite lines from a song (and I'm in agreement. say what?!) sung by Frank Sinatra is "regrets. I've had a few, but still, too few to mention." That's how I want to LIVE my life. Without regrets. Without the "what-ifs". Without backward wishing.
On Sunday afternoon, I spent four hours of my life trying out for the MN Rollergirls. Yes! I tried out for a roller derby team! The 15min warmup was ladders of skating the rink at full speed, then at 80%, full speed, 80%, etc. For 15mins. I was done. I gave it my best, but I was literally about to throwup and then pass out in my puke. I'm not kidding! Within two minutes, all I could hear in my head is "What have you done! What have you gotten yourself into! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!" Thankfully, I'm not a quitter. 15mins isn't enough for a life story! I stuck it out.
If you remove the passing out and throwing up scenario, but repeat the "What have I done" phrasing, you have my Sunday afternoon in a nutshell! We ran drills (all at full speed). We practiced falling and getting back up (at full speed). We skated as a jam. We had agility and speed tests. We did pushups, fly lifts, mountain climbers, situps and butt exercises with all our gear on. I should weigh everything, but it must be atleast an extra 20lbs of weight on my legs and arms. If that doesn't sound like much, I challenge you to do all those things in roller skates, without falling over, as hard as you can, while people are yelling at, for as long as they tell you to. I dare you.
The last drill we did is called "10mins in Hell". And it was. Again, they wanted us to put every last bit of ourselves into this. We had to skate the rink for 10 full mins at our max. No coasting. No dinking around. Push it until you collapse. Push it until you can't push any further and then go more.
For the last 3 hours and 50 minutes you've given every bit of energy you have. But they want more. They want heart! They want tenacity! They want RollerGirls! For 10mins you could hear people pushing themselves. Girls gasping for air. Girls cursing at the pain. You could hear girls cheering each other on. "You can do this!" "Finish it!" "Only 10mins!"
It was beautiful.
I didn't make the team. I'm not sorry for that. I went there, I gave my all and I left knowing I accomplished something. I left with a huge smile on my face. I left with a sore butt, shins, back, arms, hips... But I left with a smile.
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