Living Intentionally

I've been hit with that a few times in the last two days. An article about living as a Christian single-person, part of Sunday's sermon, another article about communal living, and even in a song. Think God is trying to get me to hear something?!

It's easy for me to have a "whatever" attitude. I have no goals. No aspirations. But is that God? Because I have no goals or aspirations, does that mean I have no desires? Do I not desire to please God? Do I not desire to help my community? To change my surroundings? Of course not! I desire all these things!

So if these are in my heart, what am I doing with them? Do I wait for 5:30 a.m. to arrive to see what my day holds? Yes. And that's the problem. Not only do I not anticipate my path, I hardly walk it some days. When did I stop seeing, hearing, caring? When did my life become my own?

Like everything else that is a process, I need to start small. Right foot. Left foot. Start walking and making my life full-on God's life. Put some purpose (and maybe a little pep) in my step and start living! No more floating through life. Start Living Intentionally.

How about you? How are you living intentionally?

This time of year...

I was dining and chatting with a few new friends and few old friends this past Saturday. The main topic turned to (of course) what we are thankful for. Naturally, my mind started spinning and I was coming up with very simplistic things. Considering I'm a fairly simple girl, I wasn't surprised. But I felt like I had to dig deeper. Life shows us that simple things aren't all that simple. So, what am I truly, deep-down, bottom of the soul grateful for?

Let's start simply:

I'm blessed with an amazing family. Supportive, goofy, easy, loving.
I have a stable job, an affordable roof over my head, and food on my table.
I want for nothing.

Little deeper now:

I'm thankfully for an intense past two years. With almost everything being so easy for me, I thought I would have no problem getting a job, finding housing, finding a church, making a new life in Roch. I knew my relationship with God could always go a bit deeper, but I didn't realize just how deep I was supposed to go.

Deep as I can share:

I'm thankful for a city that has absolutely broken me. For a place that didn't just let me slide in, set up a quick-easy life, and continue my fun. This place, these people aren't letting me slide through life. I'm being challenged nearly daily to keep my heart open. The walls of my heart were broken and this town isn't letting me build them back up. Painful at times, but the joy is... peaceful, strong, light, life... I am very thankful for this - a community, a family, a God that never leaves.

Amen and Amen. Go Deep.
<><

Another great MN day spent outside!

I found my favorite MN state park (well, to this point atleast!). Nerstrand-Big Woods State Park is exactly that. Big Woods! Big, sturdy old trees. Rolling hills, wildlife, well groomed trails, wonderfully marked trails! I'm so tired of going hiking and not knowing where I am or which way I want to go! I'm generally on some sort of time line and it's incredibly frustrating to be spinning circles trying to get on the desired trail! And yes, I know it's not all about the destination, but I haven't been that impressed with the journey's up to this point either :P I'm definitely a land person. If I'm not in the water, I don't care about seeing it! River overlooks? Boring. Looking at a waterfall? Lame. Reaching the tippy-top of a mountain? Exhilarating. Wandering through meadows? Exquisite. I'm a land person.

I digress. It was a great morning for a hike. I'm super excited to head back up there for some snowshoeing this winter! It was just nice that every time I turned I saw something that made me smile. A deer bounding off, rich-green moss, blue sky, sunshine, leaves galore, gray squirrels (red one's are feisty. i don't have issues with gray ones yet!). It was just nice.

On the way home I was hoping to stop at a ma and pa type cafe, but I couldn't find one. Thought that was weird considering I was in small town MN. Oh well. I'll research and maybe find one for next time!

So grab your mittens, I'll bring the hot chocolate, and come on out for snowy MN in a month or two! I'll be waiting :)

Rochester Love

I love living in Rochester.

I was at a friend's going away party last night and met quite the array of people! My friend is from Colombia/Spain/FL and is a software engineer. I met and chatted with a neurologist from Libya, a biomedical engineer from France, a researcher from Kenya, a Jamaican, some other Africans, tons of folks from Spain, a guy with an eye-wear fetish (I was thankfully wearing contacts!)... and a pot-smoker from Roch. Good Times! And people say Roch is boring...

Life is Meant to be Lived

You know something is going right when you wake up in the morning excited for the day!

Beginning of Nov. 62 degrees out. Heat-wave Minnesota-style! My plans involved NEVER being inside :) So, I grabbed the bike and headed to Eastwood Pard to check out the mtn. bike trails. It. Was. Fun. The last/first time I went biking like that was in Colorado at a place called Devil's Backbone. Does that sound fun? Does that name just exude a good time?! I thought it was a partial beginners course. I was wrong. Single track, sheer drop offs, loose dirt. Add a klutzy Colleen and we're in for a good time! (Upping the anti of adventure I guess!)

Eastwood was mostly single track, but if I fell, I'd fall on trees. Not down and a 50' incline. Actually the only time I did fall, I was standing up! Not even kidding. Walking up an incline, slipped on the mud and leaves.

Today, I'm looking forward to a brisk paddle around Silver Lake. Shout out to the glorious odd-ball days of Fall!

Peace. <><

Before the Month is Up

Boundary Waters: A. Maze. Ing.

Pops, Shawn and I took each others lives in our hands and headed into the remotest wild of Minnesota. There were bets being made about which Fagan would get left behind (or "mysteriously" disappear), but we all came back no worse for wear!

I loaded into the solo canoe (YES!) with the food bag (Double yes! Snacks!!) and we headed to our first portage. Boy, was this going to be an introduction!

Our first portage was the toughest of our journey. One mile of varying grades. A trail covered in heavy, thick, wet foliage. Forty pound pack on the back, forty-ish pound canoe on the shoulders. Hello challenge! I did great for about the first ten feet. Seriously. Then the foliage became a difficult factor and I couldn't get the canoe settled properly on my shoulders. I was using my neck and head to balance it so much that I was quickly in pain. I made it a little over half a mile (I think!) and only fell twice. My dad was behind me and encouraged the best he could. I finally gave in and the two of us carried the canoe by the ends.

During all of this, Shawn (with his 20 foot stride!) blew by me. As I've mentioned in previous posts, he's a pretty great brother and came back to help us. And by that, I mean he picked up my canoe and took off. I was at a pretty good trot trying to keep up! I'm still not sure how he managed it.

So. First portage is conquered! We are finally in the Boundary Waters. Away from the world. Away from cars and trucks and electricity. Away from man-made sounds. I was in heaven. I think we all were. At one point during the trip, the only sound I heard was my breathing. No wind. No birds. No bugs. No creatures stirring. Nothing. Absolute, sheer, unequivocal... silence. It took me a moment to recognize it! I had never heard anything so unfamiliar and beautiful.

We had two more portages to go through before we reached the lake of choice. The next one up was a wet portage. I stood ankle deep water, pulled my canoe over a beaver's dam and continued on my merry way. I say "my merry way" because Shawn and Dad were having some navigational issues. They found every rock and log possible in that pond!

The third and last portage was probably my favorite. It was short. It was muddy. It was smelly. Did I mention short?! I carried everything my self this time and got a good victory boost. The added obstacle of mud meant that we had to be wary of our steps. I took one and sunk in to my knee. With a canoe on my head. Not so much fun! Thankfully, I have strong legs and was able to pull out of it. I was also starting to laugh and that would've meant the end of me!

Portaging complete. Shawn and Dad fished. I enjoyed the fresh air and watching Shawn squirm when he caught a Northern Pike. (For an outdoorsy guy, he sure is a wuss!) We found a spot to make camp. Settled and peaceful.

And then the weather came. Almost as soon as camp was set up, it began to pour. So we took shelter in our tents and took much needed naps. We did that alot. Napping... Weather stopped. Fishing and exploring ensued. Fish for dinner. GREAT start.

Then the weather started in again. Wind. Rain. WIND. I thought my tent was going to blow away with Shawn and me in it! I think we slept around 15 hours that day. We'd wake up during weather breaks, eat, stretch and then head back to the tents for more napping. We ate. We napped. We ate. We napped. It was great!

The weather finally broke for good late afternoon. I was in charge of water, so I purified water while the men fished. Pancakes, fish, potatoes and clean water. The food of adventurers!

The day to leave had me a bit nervous. The lake didn't have white caps anymore, but it was decently windy and my canoe was off-balanced. Shawn and Dad took off and made good time getting across the big lake. I was having mad issues. For the life of me, I couldn't keep my craft perpendicular to the waves. I kept getting parallel. Dangerous. I almost got pitched. Twice. No joke. I had my vest on, so I wasn't too concerned, but I had the food and my pack. They were not tied in. So getting pitched would've been bad!

I fought. I dug deep. I dug hard. I prayed. And then prayed some more. Every-time I would pause because my arms were spent, I would start to spin, so I stopped stopping and just kept digging. I was using my entire body. Pulling from the core. Every muscle being used. Yowzers. I finally reached Dad and Shawn. But we had a bit further to go to be "safe".

Finally. Calm waters. Muddy portage. Still fun. Still muddy. Still smelly. Found the hole again.
Water portage. Still funny watching Shawn and Dad trying to maneuver it together.

We found a campsite just outside of the final portage. We wanted to be rested and have a game plan together on how to best do the final portage. It was an amazing site. Our first one was on a fire-hit area, so there was hardly any foliage or cover. This one was deep woods. We were definitely more aware of the possibilities of a bear sneaking up on us! No dawdling when going to the bathroom at this site! It was a great spot though and a beautiful day. Sunshine and free. We ate. We napped. Read, journaled, prayed. Slept and ate some more!

The mile portage wasn't as bad this time. Probably because Shawn carried both canoes! I carried the packs and made the trek three times. Shawn still blew by me! The entire time, we all were smiling, laughing, joking, trying to scare me...

It was the best trip I never thought possible to have with the fellas in my life. Can't wait for next year... :)

Quick Recap

I finally went camping! I had a really nice long weekend for July 4th and was able to head to a state park for camping and hiking. It was great and exactly what I needed!

There was a trail there that was "strenuous" and about 4min long. I thought "Hey! No biggie! I can handle that easy-peasy." I was doing great for the first mile, but then my amazing skills at falling kicked in. I was crossing the river on concrete stepping-stones. I wasn't paying the best of attention I guess because I biffed it big time. My left shin hit the edge of one block, my right knee hit the edge of the next block and my hands saved my face (by an inch) from hitting. I wanted to curl up and die. No joke. I thought my knee was disconnected. Once I stood up, climbed the hill and got going, things seemed to stretch out and right themselves (mostly). Finished the hike and had a mostly (decent amount of pain) good time! Got back to camp and fell asleep in my chair! Moved to the tent and took an even longer nap:)

Whitewater State Park hasn't seen peregrine falcons for 30 odd years until this year. Two chicks! There was an outing put on by the park and we got to see the chicks with some high powered binoculars. Very cool. And that was camping!

I had a bbq at my house on the 4th. The city firework show is behind my place at the lake, so it was the perfect setting for friends and food!

Blame the Manny

Jonas is turning into a big boy, so he likes to use the boy's bathroom when he gets the chance. So after watching Kung Fu Panda on the big screen and before heading to lunch, he and Lucas headed to the bathroom.

Lucas was in and out in no time. Jonas... He was taking a while.

I asked Lucas to check on him and got a big negatory. So the shout outs began:

"How you doing Buddy?!"
"I need help!"
"With what?"
"I need you to wipe me."

Seriously?

"Jonas, you're a big boy, can't you do it?"
"NO!"

I ask Lucas to go in and help and to speed things up.
Another (seemingly) 30 minutes goes by.

"Boys? What's going on?"
"There's a bug on me."
"Well, swipe it away. Have Lucas get it."

"Hold still Jonas, I almost have it."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

As a super aunt, I rush in to the screams, praying that I didn't miss any guys walking into the bathroom and give them a surprise!

I open the door to the stall and there's little Jonas on the toilet with tears streaming down his face.

I look to Lucas, "What's going on fellas?!"
"There's a bug on Jonas."
"Where?!"
"On his penis."

Say what?!?!?!! Yep. On the underside of Jonas' little penis is a bug. Not a fly. Not a ladybug. A tick. Jonas has a TICK on his PENIS!

Now, Lucas is a very smart boy. So as soon as I say it's a tick he starts going on about how the tick is sucking Jonas' blood. Jonas begins his next freak out!

"Jonas, look at me", I say all smooth and calm. "I'm going to take care of this and you're going to be just fine!", I say with a big smile.

Let's deviate from this story for a minute to another... The previous night, I was at the gym. The gym has great lighting and mirrors. I like to pluck my eyebrows at the gym. What is needed for eyebrow plucking? Tweezers. And not just any ol' blunt style tweezer, but pointy ones! Back to our story...

As I'm talking down Jonas I'm going through the next steps in my head:
He has a tick. What do we need to do to ticks? We take them off with tweezers. Who has tweezers? Should we go the studio? Run to my house? OR???!!!! HOLY BUCKETS! I have tweezers in the car!!!

"Ok guys, let's pull our pants up and head to my car. I have some tweezers and we'll get the little bugger off. Ok?!" All smiles.
"Ticks bury their heads in your skin and suck your blood."
"Thanks Luke. Please stop."

We get to the car, I have Jonas drop his pants in the parking lot and hop onto the front seat. I find the tweezers. I have Lucas hold Jonas' hand. I start pulling on the tick. The tick SQUIRMS! The tick had just latched onto Jonas, so it was still super flat and was moving. Creepy. I need to go about this a different way! So with my left hand I held Jonas' penis and with the other hand... I used my pinky to keep the penis taught and maneuvered the tweezers with thumb and forefinger. Have I mentioned that the tick is near Jonas' tip? Well, I did my best to not pull his skin and I ripped that tick out! The head came with and so did some skin. You could see Jonas' skin attached to that blasted tick!

I was prepped with alcohol wipes (car 1st aid kit!) and hand sanitizer. I disinfected the child, my hands, and the tweezers. We called Momma Shel. We turned into entomologists, examined the creature and wrapped it up for later exam.

Turns out the boys' manny had taken them through some pretty tall grass a few days prior and it had taken a while for the tick to work it's way up to a warm spot. The manny feels bad.

I have never heard the word penis used so much and I have never said the word penis so much as I did that week telling this story! This is one for the yearbook... Penis.

Did I mention...

...that there was a BIRD INSIDE MY HOUSE last Sunday morning? I woke up around 6:30 a.m. to the sounds of mad fluttering and something banging against my window. I flew straight up in bed and just stared. There was a BIRD caught between my drape and the window! Thankfully, I changed drapes a couple of weeks ago to longer, stiffer ones. Otherwise, I would've been chasing a bird around the house with who-knows-what trying to catch it! As it was, a bajillion thoughts were going through my head on what to do, what to use to catch the bird, what to use to shoo the bird, etc. Thank You Jesus, the bird found its way out of the window. Needless to say, I don't leave the windows wide open anymore!

I went back to sleep wondering if this had actually happened. And yes. It did. I found feathers.

Tangoing Cheek to Cheek for 3 Minutes in the Park

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/25/nyregion/25summer.html

Play of the Game

Tonight was our final indoor game for the season. We won all three games and took 3rd of our division. WooHoo! They were all great games. Well played! But, the best play happened tonight.

They started the game as friends, but left as brothers. Or maybe something a little less cheesy!

Sean forgot a cleat. Not his cleatS, but one, singular, solitary cleat. Knowing the odds were slim, he still asked if anybody had an extra size 12 cleat. We all looked at each other with unexpectant stares. We all laughed. I mean, seriously. How do you forget ONE cleat?!

But what was that? Did somebody say something in the back? Brandon has an extra set of cleats! Size 12 even! The right one has a gaping whole in the front though. It literally flops open and closed. So which shoe does Sean need? The left! And it just so happens that Brandon has an intact left one... sans shoelaces.

Sean promptly pulls his sneaker shoelace out and cleats up. He looks like a football punter. But it works! We win the game with a shutout.

Thanks to Sean for his stellar footwork and to Brandon for the assist. And to them both for the most random startup of a game.

Menards is my new best friend

Yea, yea, yea... I'm a homeowner. That's exciting... But what is more exciting than that? Power tools! And what could possibly be more exciting than power tools?! (I know it's verging on blaspheme to say there could be something better than power tools, but stick with me here.) So. More exciting than power tools? A power tool with really sharp teeth!!!

I bought a hedge trimmer today :D Sadly, I had a soccer game to get to, so I am postponing its use till tomorrow morning. I thought about using the car headlights, but a teammate swayed me to wait. I think she just wants me around for next weeks game! I'm curious as to what the bushes will look like after I'm done. Two of the trees are conical and the other two are sort of boxy. Maybe I'll end up with a couple of round bushes and a tree shaped like a giraffe...

Home Sweet Home

If "home is where the heart is", then I have homes all across the country. But, I think I have found a safe haven, a place of rest for my heart, a good home. The time over the past year has been intense and (in the long run) a complete joy! I spend oodles of time with the nephs...

I am also able to spend times with my BFF Rachel (who just HAD to move further away as I moved closer... now that I think of it, that is kinda suspicious!) We had a chance to bake together a short time back. This is what we were shooting for...


This is what we ended up with!


We ate it anyways:)


I bought a house about two weeks ago!!! It would take forever to upload photos, so if you're so inclined, check out the FB album: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=229573&id=562965064&l=af90c

Everybody keeps asking if it's weird being in the house. Weird being alone. Bothered by the odd noises. And everytime, I give the same answer... NO! The first night, I slept in the empty house in a sleeping bag and it felt amazing. Everytime I look around, I see it as my home. Not a building, not a project, not a temporary situation. But permanent. Safe. Mine. It's my home.

There's plenty of room, so if anybody feels like vacationing in SE MN, come on over!

Peace and Love my friends
<><

Bizzarro-Land

I live in a place called Bizzarro-Land. There was an addition of a Bizzarro-Suburb today.

Three weeks ago, I was making phone calls and viewing apartments. Two weeks and five days ago, I was making phone calls and emailing a real estate agent and a lender.

Three weeks ago, I wanted to move out of the Fagan home. Two days ago, I could barely walk out the door.

One week, three days ago I went kayaking on a mostly frozen lake. There was a dead goose frozen to the top of the lake.

One week, two days ago I was sure about the house that I wanted to buy. Two days ago, I wasn't sure about which house I wanted to buy. Two and a half hours ago I am reassured about the house that I want to buy. Maybe. Possibly. I'm almost pretty sure.

Two mornings ago, I got in touch (holler to Facebook!) with one of the few friends I've wanted to find from high school. He has been living in Fort Collins the ENTIRE time I was living in Greeley. He even works at my favorite outdoor gear store. Never knew it.

This past week I ran into a fellow soccer player twice, at very odd places. He works at IBM (across town) and was having lunch at Mayo. Then, we ran into each other at Salsa lessons. Thing is, he's Latino. But he doesn't salsa. He is disgraced and that's why he is taking classes (so he says).

Eight and a half hours ago my supervisor at Mayo told me she took a new position and is leaving in Feb. She then said that she recommended me, ME, to take her place. I've been there not even two months!

Miss Me?

In case you haven't heard, I am an employee at Mayo Clinic! I've been there for a month and it feels great! It's an odd realization, but I love wearing a lab coat. As soon as I slipped mine on that first day, it felt right :) Yes. I am a nerd. (But maintaining that "cool" nerd status!)

I am a Clinical Lab Tech in the Immunodermatology unit. I check serum and biopsies for various skin/intestinal based diseases NOT including cancer and acne. There are no more than seven people in the lab on a given day and I don't work weekends or holidays!! Pros: I'm learning tons. I'm in a lab. I'm surrounded by my "own" kind. Con: DRAMA central. There was an actual fight yesterday! Yelling and crying, but no fisticuffs. It's pretty ridiculous. People just need to talk less and work more!

My building is located downtown, which I'm super stoked about. I love the atmosphere down there. I can have lunch with the Studios crew, there is a Starbucks and Caribou in the subway, and I get to ride a bus to work! I've listened to many 'This American Life' podcasts on the commutes.

I wasn't really finding the job challenging on a manual level, but yesterday/today we had a minor crisis situation! I feel like I thrive on those days:) We generally do 700-800 samples a day of EMAs. But all 700 of yesterdays samples didn't work. So, we had 1500 samples to do today! That's insane!!! We did 1100 of the samples and are holding over the rest till tomorrow. It was very exciting to challenge ourselves to see how many we could bust out! We could've done more, but we didn't want the powers-to-be to think that we can do that regularly, so we shot (and hit) for mediocre.

Other aspects of life are good! I'm on the search for an apartment or possibly a house. The temp is generally below zero now, but there have been some great walks in the snow. Today, I was walking around downtown after work. It was snowing (without the wind), I was listening to Christmas music and Jamie Lidell, and I had a Truffle Espresso from Starbucks in one hand and Christmas paper in the other. It was a beautiful afternoon!

I can't think of anything exciting right now. Christmas is around the corner and I'm anticipating the marathon of Christmas movies!