Different day, same battles

You wouldn't have to read more than three or four of my posts to know that I have NO clue as to what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. But, when I got the go ahead to leave CO and move to MN, I knew things were changing! God was speaking in a voice that I was able/willing to hear!

Granted my first week or so was rough. It took me awhile to get out of my funk (which never fully left till March!). But things were rolling! Things were happening! I was seeing God working around me!

My first week in town at my brother's indoor soccer game, I met a supervisor for one of the labs at Mayo! We talked about soccer, my work experience and how to get a job at Mayo. He gave me his card and told me to send him my info and that he'd take a look and help me out! A few emails later...It didn't work out.

So I keep applying for jobs. I'm spreading out into surrounding communities now.

The day after my birthday I received a phone call from a fella asking me out! We met for an awkward cup of coffee, we emailed, sent messages on Facebook. He turned out to be sweet, nice, honest, a gentleman. And he has this dry sense of humor that is pretty great. A few dates later...It didn't work out.

So I keep envisioning my life single. Living the Colleen version of Wild and Carefree.

I started looking at my finances to see about getting an apartment. I wrote out all my expenses and my income. A few calculations later...It didn't work out.

So I continue my life in the basement. Actually, this one is an awesome blessing!

The question is and always has been - What do you want from me?!? What am I doing wrong? What am I missing? How am I supposed to be growing during this period that I'm just not getting?!

I had the thought tonight that I'm pretty oblivious to things happening in my life. What I mean is, I don't see the lessons that I could/should be learning. I keep using the excuse, "Well I've been on my own for so long..." Am I supposed to be learning to share again? Have I become selfish with my life? Do I need to work on my communication and people skills more? Why is my job so hard for me? What can I be taking from that?

Surprise surprise. More questions. Maybe I should've been a journalist. I (half) jokingly ask people to talk to God about me and to come back with an answer. But, if anybody has any words of wisdom, I could use a book worth! Oh wait. I think that's called the Bible!

Peace out friends. May God speak to you in a language that you can/are willing to hear. <><