Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
JUST A FEW GOOD ONES!
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