In my quest for knowledge I have embarked on a journey of understanding, imagination, motor skills and artistic ability. I am enrolled in a...Cake Decorating Class! I've made stars. I've made borders. I've made roses and written a message. I have baked, layered, frosted, decorated and ate four cakes in the past month. Yet I am STILL not at the capacity of my knowledge! Class continues for a few more weeks until we are all able to make the perfect "every occasion" cake, "clown" cake and "doll" cake. The knowledge available is (not quite) limitless!

Now, the pictures you are about to see aren't quite Susie Homemaker. I'm more...avant garde. When Mrs. Lex (yes, I call her Mrs. Lex) tells me to use green for the leaves, I say "WOMAN! I will use purple for my leaves if I so choose!" Then she looks at me over the rim of her glasses and I mix enough green frosting to fill a rose garden. So enjoy and feel free to contact me for your next occasion! I make pretty stars*

Different day, same battles

You wouldn't have to read more than three or four of my posts to know that I have NO clue as to what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. But, when I got the go ahead to leave CO and move to MN, I knew things were changing! God was speaking in a voice that I was able/willing to hear!

Granted my first week or so was rough. It took me awhile to get out of my funk (which never fully left till March!). But things were rolling! Things were happening! I was seeing God working around me!

My first week in town at my brother's indoor soccer game, I met a supervisor for one of the labs at Mayo! We talked about soccer, my work experience and how to get a job at Mayo. He gave me his card and told me to send him my info and that he'd take a look and help me out! A few emails later...It didn't work out.

So I keep applying for jobs. I'm spreading out into surrounding communities now.

The day after my birthday I received a phone call from a fella asking me out! We met for an awkward cup of coffee, we emailed, sent messages on Facebook. He turned out to be sweet, nice, honest, a gentleman. And he has this dry sense of humor that is pretty great. A few dates later...It didn't work out.

So I keep envisioning my life single. Living the Colleen version of Wild and Carefree.

I started looking at my finances to see about getting an apartment. I wrote out all my expenses and my income. A few calculations later...It didn't work out.

So I continue my life in the basement. Actually, this one is an awesome blessing!

The question is and always has been - What do you want from me?!? What am I doing wrong? What am I missing? How am I supposed to be growing during this period that I'm just not getting?!

I had the thought tonight that I'm pretty oblivious to things happening in my life. What I mean is, I don't see the lessons that I could/should be learning. I keep using the excuse, "Well I've been on my own for so long..." Am I supposed to be learning to share again? Have I become selfish with my life? Do I need to work on my communication and people skills more? Why is my job so hard for me? What can I be taking from that?

Surprise surprise. More questions. Maybe I should've been a journalist. I (half) jokingly ask people to talk to God about me and to come back with an answer. But, if anybody has any words of wisdom, I could use a book worth! Oh wait. I think that's called the Bible!

Peace out friends. May God speak to you in a language that you can/are willing to hear. <><

The Name Game

I was reading an article in the NY Times the other day about how people forge "bonds" with others who have the same name. And these "others" are found via the internet. One of the craziest things is, the similarities found between the Googlegangers. Yes! there's a term for people with similar names. Similarities range from hobbies, to professions, to spouses!

So in the spirit of finding my other selves I googled! And I am stunned. And I am freaked. Here are my reults:
The first hit is for a spelling bee contestant in NY. I am also a spelling bee champion.
Second hit is a gal who graduated in 1971 from a Pittsburgh HS. I like cheesesteak sandwiches. (ok, so that one's reaching!)
Third...head coach for Eastern Oregon soccer team! Word to the third on that one:)
A tax deviant also pops up. I claim NO likability to that one!
A Maid of Honor, clothes designer, Katrina victim, math whiz, dead.
The real me pops up on pages 1 and 2! A facebook result, Roch Community Band and for this blog.

I have no message. No "Moral of the Story" or "Meaning of Life" to relay. I guess it's take it or leave it. This could prove that we are all somehow connected. This could prove nothing. I just thought it was an interesting/cool article! Maybe you'd like to check it out!

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/10/us/10names.html?_r=2&scp=2&sq=same+name&st=nyt&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

I got a massage today. She started pulling sections of hair to "loosen my scalp". Apparently tight scalp is a bad thing...But now my hair is up in a ponytail and my scalp feels tight. I think I like the idea of a loose scalp.

Thanks Sgt Friday

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The story you are about to read is true. Names have not been changed to protect the innocent.

1830 on Tuesday, March 25. A 10-84 is called in involving two dogs and a walker on the corner of Kenosha Dr NW and Monroe Dr NW. There were no 10-48s.

The walker, Colleen, heard running dog sounds, turned and saw two German Sheperds (GS) coming at herself and her dog, Annie. The GS wearing a blue collar proceeded to attack Annie at the throat. The second GS stood by and watched. Colleen screamed at the dogs. She kicked once, but became concerned with losing a limb. So she tried pulling Annie out of the 10-84. Annie's collar slipped off. Colleen then started hitting the GS with the leash and collar, still screaming at the animals. One GS headed back in the direction from it came. The GS fighting with Annie stopped and let Annie up.

Colleen and Annie backed away from the GS. Eye contact was kept and the leash was held at the ready incase of another attack. The GS watched Annie and Colleen till out-of-sight.

Annie is okay. Colleen called Big Brother and Animal Control. Annie had some nice treats with her dinner.

On March 25, there was no trial held in Superior Court, City of Rochester, County of Olmsted, State of Minnesota. Ergo, there are no results for this trial.

Quotes of the Week

"Daddy! You didn't wipe me well enough and now my butt is rotten!"

heard while trying to get in the carseat -- "By the Power of Grayskull!"

Places in Rochester that Smell

1. Sterling State Bank lobby. The one on Broadway. It's a weird mildewy, b.o., odd spice smell. I'm in there once or twice a week and it surprises (and sickens) me every time. They need some breath mints.
2. Section b/t Sterling State Bank and Post Office. The ones on Broadway. It has that cold, old, b.o. stank.
3. The armory. Granted, it's also a sports facility with international players. This one isn't sooo bad. Just during warmups.
4. Skyway section that does NOT go to the government building. I can't think of it right now...

I'm sure to add as I venture out more!

And the Band Played On

I had my first Rochester Community Band concert Saturday night! It was soooo super fun! (And yes. Once a band nerd, always a band nerd.) I had a personal victory with one of the pieces. I was asked to switch parts the week before the concert. I've never been one to practice, but I DID look at the piece once outside of rehearsal. I had one rehearsal day to play the piece and then to perform it. I was asked to switch parts because of the difficulty level and the other guy playing it couldn't do it on his own. Rehearsal wasn't that great. But the concert! I nailed it! It was in a repeat section, so I nailed it twice!! Small victories;)

My mom was awesome and drove an hour to see/hear me/us. (She's the super coolest!) After the concert we went for the traditional post-concert ice cream! Good times:)

Next concert in early June in case anybody's in town!
<><

A New Record!

What an amazing afternoon of caching!! I made a new record for myself! I found all 6 caches that I was looking for. 6 for 6!

My 1st cache was on a bike trail close to the house. Sadly, it was frozen in place so I couldn't sign the log! I hope that counts:) I may have parked illegally.
2nd cache was a park and grab. Sadly, my skills at park and grab are EXTREMELY poor. I had to walk quite a bit.
3rd cache was poorly hidden! It was a tupperware container with a red lid. It was hidden in the bushes, but the bushes had no leaves. So, as soon as you get close you see it! Somebody put a piece of sod over it and some sticks, but it was still super obvious.
4th cache was a fun trek down a hill. I was stabbed a few times by thorns and almost didn't make it back up the hill because of the ice and snow. I may have parked illegally...again.
5th and 6th caches were in a hidden park! Oooooooo. Hidden! Again with the snow and ice! A dangerous trek, put totally worth it! The trail is around an old quarry and it overlooks the entire city. It was secluded now, but I can imagine with all the tree leaves and grasses how secluded it'll be in a few months! This is currently my favorite place in the city. Aesthetics wise:) I'm looking forward to walking/running all the paths! I wasn't illegally parked this time.

So that's it. 6 for 6!!! An amazing afternoon!

This Post is for Gary!

What my week has consisted of:
Friday night some new friends, my bro, sis-in-law and I went to the FLUX at the Art Center! The AC was decked out like a lounge/club, the galleries were left open, there was a blues singer and then some DJs. Fantastic! Just what Roch needs! Lots of young, professionals live here and not everybody wants to hang out at a sleazy bar after 10p!

Sunday night I subbed at an indoor game. All girl team vs an all guy team from Morocco. We may have won! Nobody was keeping close track. I then subbed for another team after my game. Good fun! I almost played a third game, but the captain wouldn't let me play on his team b/c I'm a girl. I hope I get to play him some time. I will crush him.

Monday afternoon I played soccer at the gym over the noon hour. Not as much fun as it usually is. The guys were playing too seriously for a pickup/lunchtime game. Then I went and bought new inserts for my soccer shoes. My feet were hurting. And then...I don't remember what else.

Don't remember Tues or Wed. Thurs night was a going-away shindig for one of Shawn and Shel's friend. I almost started crying! I have a pretty good idea of how he may be feeling!

Friday (aka Pi Day) I worked in the morning, had lunch at a disappointing restaurant and then nannied the rest of the day. I took a little nap w/ Jonas (2yr old) and then made wood model airplanes when everybody woke up from naps! I had a 2hr concert band rehearsal then went to the gym. Had yogurt for dinner. Jonas ate half of it. I am now stepping in play-doh and typing a blog.

Saturday I have some errands to run and then my first band concert in ages. Church Sunday and a Gaelic Storm concert on Monday.

Happy? ;P
<><

A good alarm clock

I woke up this morning to Michelle playing guitar and Jonas singing along. It's nice waking up with a smile!

Have you ever felt like you are a part of something that doesn't exist?

I was sitting in a dark, empty theatre tonight, putting my scarf on, pulling on my coat and I felt like I was someplace different. It was familiar. It was comfortable. It wasn't a real place.

Tell me I've seen too many old movies. Call it movie magic. I all of a sudden felt glamourous (in jeans and a sweater). I felt like I was in a theatre in the early 1940s. All when I was wrapping my scarf...

side-note: I'm also apparently using UK English tonight! TheatRE?? GlamOUrous?? ok...

ow-y

I think I pulled something wrastling with the boys...and Shawn...Come to think of it, who was on my side?!

Adventures in Babysitting

Hide 'n Seek has to be in my top 5 games. So I was stoked when the nephews said they wanted to play. I had some pretty sweet hiding spots! Nephews aren't that great at it though. (No excuses! So what if they're 2 and almost 5!) I tried hiding under Jonas's bed and nearly got stuck. I then hid in a closet, but my legs were in full view! Oddly enough, Lucas didn't see me!

Annie (the dog) is pretty awesome at Hide 'n Seek. When she was a pup we played all the time. So, if you ask "Where's Colleen?" she goes berserk and starts searching the house. She found me everytime. Then and now! I thought she was going to attack me though the other night! She couldn't really see me, just smell me and she got this guttoral growling, I'm taking you down look. Hilarious when I jumped out!

This is Lucas' best hiding spot of the night:)

Seriously. That is not a staged photo. He really hid there.

Next we made an obstacle course. He had to jump from pillow to pillow and over Mr. Potatoehead. I did my best to tire those boys out! I had to increase the difficulty level though.

Yep. A Blindfold!!

Things I'm getting proficient at...

We Rocked that Cradle

Yesterday, the Fagan Crew + 1 (me) headed up to Minneapolis to "Rock the Cradle". It's a cool event put on by 89.3 The Current at a museum. Everything is geared towards the kiddie age bracket (about 5/6 and under). There was a disco, a 'Be An 89.3 DJ' section, an instrument room where various instruments could be played by the kids, an art room and a creepy, kid-song room. Ok, the creepy, kid-song room probably wasn't that creepy, but I haven't had much exposure to songs that repeat a letter, word or number. "A One, A One, A One one. A Two, A Two, A Two two." It haunts me.

It's just cool that arts and music are being encouraged. Especially at such a young age! I loved the Disco area! It was a sweet dance party that'd I'd go to with or without the kiddies. There were mini mosh pits:) I SWEAR!! I was following my 2yr old nephew around the dance floor and it looked like lots of mini mosh pits. The kids see something interesting that another kid is doing, they coagulate, they imitate (usually a kicking move), they form pits. Hilarious!

More kiddie tales to come. OOoooo! I have an adult tale to tell.

I played in an indoor pickup soccer game this afternoon. I NAILED a guy in the woo-hoo. He collapsed. Game was paused. He lopped over to sidelines. His teammates laughed and told me to do it again...only harder! :)

How Many Sheep did I Count?

Imagine, if you will, a King sized bed. Lots of room to move and spread yourself out on. Now, imagine a healthy 5yr old. Small, right? Right. How about an adorable 2yr old. You have one in mind? Excellent! You all know what I look like. Fairly average sized 26yr old.

Now, put all of us on that King bed you thought of. Plenty of room! We could all make snow angels in the sheets if we wanted to...right? That's a big, fat NEGATORY! The 5yr old is curled up on the 26yr old and the 2yr old is somehow squeezed between us and I'm doing my darndest to NOT fall off the bed!

I literally had 7inches to my name on that bed. (Which means I slept on my side. But, I can't sleep on my side. So I laid on my side for about 4hrs till we had to get up.) Lucas eventually scooted over, but still remained on my third of the bed. Jonas started flipping his legs and arms all over the place to make a spot. He may be a 2yr old, but he has a mean kick!! And Lucas likes to swing his arms around. Thankfully, he only hit me in the face. (that's sarcasm folks)

Yes yes. I did try to move everybody over. But, I'm some sort of super-human, hot-baby-body magnet. Those kids produce SO MUCH HEAT! I was kicking the blankets all off. Then I was freezing b/c my gallons of sweat were cooling in the cold night air. So I had partial blankets on and off. That's not the end of the story! Jonas (remember, the one who kicks and was sleeping on me?) he didn't want the blankets on at all. Everytime he was touched by one, the kicking and arm swinging would start again.

So I'm laying on my side (going numb), I'm freezing, I'm burning up, I'm trying to not fall off the bed and did I mention snoring? I think you get the picture. :P

A Day at Fagan Studios

Today was my official first day of work at Fagan Studios.

It started off with me getting there an hour and a half late. Then we went to lunch. Kidding:) I worked a little first. I furthered my electrician skills by installing a couple of thermostats. It didn't go so great! I had to drill new holes and the screws were stripped before I could get them into the beam. Then we went to lunch.

After lunch, using a hacksaw, I removed the stripped screw and got things figured out. (With a little help from the boss, aka Big Brother.) The second thermostat went much better! Until installation. Holes were too big ;( Had to use wall anchors. Jeepers. I'm an expensive electrician.

Okay. So, thermostats are figured out and my belly is full. Next project? Building a filing cabinet! Piece of cake, right? The cabinet is from IKEA and the directions only have pictures (albeit, some are hilarious!). I like words. Words are good. It took the REST of the day to put this thing together! It was backwards a few times and again, I needed Shawn to help me fix things. I'm an expensive carpenter.

And that was my first day at Fagan Studios!!

www.faganstudios.com

Long Version

Starting late Saturday my thought process circled
around "What have I DONE?!?!" The freak-out was
beginning. I figured, no biggy! I was just sad and I'd
fall into happy/excited mode by about Kearney, NE.

No Deal. My brother pointed out that he hadn't seen me
smile ONCE since he'd seen me (first on Sun), and it
was Tues afternoon; I've been getting sick after every
meal; I'd been at the house for 30mins and had already
fallen down the stairs. Great start:)

So, obviously, some self-evaluations were going and I
had a great chat with my brother. The biggest...angst
is/was that I'm giving up my independence. I have as
much an attachment to my freedom as I do to inanimate
objects. So, it's pretty fierce! :) My family knows
who I am and how I get. They (being Mom) really
dislike it, but they raised me this way. The 'rents
wanted me to go to their town Tues night since my
bro/sis-in-law were outta town. I told the 'rents that
I needed "Colleen Time" and that I had a list of
things to get done by weeks end. Mom made fun of my
list. She said to throw it out and enjoy being there.
But, the list is what brought my sanity back. It
focused me. It brought order back to my life. And with
order, there is JOY!! Apparently, I'm Type A. (I find
that insulting!)

So Tues night I put together my room and the bathroom.
I cleaned/straightened up the house (my rent payment!)
and just relaxed. By myself. It was AWESOME!! Exactly
what I needed. My attitude totally flipped with that
list and focus:)

Last night I spent time with Shawn, Shel and Jonas
(youngest nephew) and it was great. Jonas doesn't
really know me, so it worked out great that Lucas was
staying at a b-day party in another town. Jonas and I
are pretty tight now. Lucas showed up this evening and
we've been inseparable. Apparently, he's been wanting
to paint my room since he found out I was moving (he's
4 btw). He wanted to do pink and red with hearts. I'm
not a pink and red with hearts kind-a gal, but he
wanted it b/c he "missed me and was glad I moved
there". That made my heart smile. We cut hearts out of
construction paper instead and he helped me hang them.
He then gave me a fat-lip with a cheap shot to the
face. He's a dirty fighter. :P Brother taught him
well! I love this kid. He chose me to sit next to at
dinner. He sat on my lap while we made hearts and
played with stickers (not grandma's lap, but MINE!).
He wanted me to put him to bed. Jonas has been asking
for MY help down the stairs. He wants to play with me
now too.

Being with this family is...heart-warming. My bro is
amazing to his wife. He's a leader and role model for
his boys. My sis-in-law doesn't nag or push and she
has her own power tools. She's a role model of a
strong woman and wife. And these boys! they have an
infectious laugh.

This is why I am here.
<><

And Here it IS!

Today was loading day. A bit of a rough start. Pops got lost picking bro up from the airport, which pushed the schedule back. That made me nervous b/c we were on a VERY TIGHT schedule. But, we finished with plenty of time to spare!

My amazing friends Cola and Gary showed up ready to lift and move all the heaviness. What great friends. I'm going to miss them more than words could describe.

What a crazy feeling. I've lived here/there for over 4years. This has been my home! My adult life! And I'm leaving it all. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited for what lies ahead. But like I told Shawn this afternoon--I'll be crying to Kearney b/c I'll be leaving my life. I'll be smiling and excited past Kearney b/c I'll be starting a life. Emotions are whirlwinding:) Still. :P

But now we're sitting in the hotel room, watching American Gladiators. Hitting the road before the sun does. WooHoo for a crazy loooong drive ahead!